


The Feeling Begins

by Timemeantnothing



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, First Time, For the sake of not having to mention all of that, I'm also kinda just ignoring Rom, Kissing, Past Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:32:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15360426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timemeantnothing/pseuds/Timemeantnothing
Summary: Ezri remembers Dax's previous hosts' experiences with women, but needs help from Leeta coming to terms with her own newly emerged feelings





	The Feeling Begins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dizzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/gifts).



> As part of the Sapphic Star Trek Exchange I was given the prompt "Leeta helping Ezri deal with female attraction for the first time"
> 
> This is the first fanfic I've ever been brave enough to post so I'm really excited and had a lot of fun writing this. I hope you enjoy it!!

Ezri sat quietly in a secluded corner of the bar, hands curled around her drink as she allowed her eyes to wander. It was quieter than usual, which was exactly how Ezri preferred it. Unlike some of Dax’s previous hosts, she was partial to more relaxed environments, which helped quell the anxiety that was usually stirring up in her stomach.

She brought her drink to her lips, peering over the rim of the glass as Leeta slid into her view across the bar. Ezri paused for a moment, eyes drawn to the magnetic swing of her hips as she maneuvered past the tables. She tried to tear her eyes away, feeling like an unwitting voyeur. But as Leeta leaned over a table to catch someone’s attention, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the curve of her back or the long stretch of her legs.

Ezri swallowed the lump in her throat, hands beginning to shake as she felt a nervous stirring in her stomach. She couldn’t pinpoint where the tension was actually stemming from. It felt different from the stress that she was used to feeling. It was anxious, yes, but almost exciting at the same time. She found that the feeling only grew worse as she continued watching Leeta settling into a chair, following the movement her hands as they fluttered around while she spoke. 

Ezri watched as Leeta ran a hand through her hair, imagining it was her hand instead before she could stop herself. She noticed the way Leeta’s shoulders bounced slightly when she laughed, and the easy way that she reached across the table to touch her companion’s shoulder. In the space of minutes, she felt herself cataloging the small nuances of Leeta’s movements without even being fully aware of what she was doing.

Eventually, Leeta must have felt Ezri’s eyes on her. She glanced over her shoulder to meet Ezri’s gaze from across the room. Ezri snapped back to her senses, quickly averted her eyes, and gulping down her drink too quickly. Her throat constricted in a coughing fit, and she twisted in her chair to mask the coughing as well as she could. 

When her throat calmed, she hesitantly turned in her chair, eyes immediately meeting Leeta’s concerned ones. 

“Are you okay?”

Ezri coughed again. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She pressed the back of her hand to her mouth. “Just drank too quickly.”

“Oh, okay.” Leeta paused, looking for a moment like she was going to leave. Ezri prayed that she would, eyes resting on her cup again as she cleared her throat. When she looked back up Leeta was still there.

“Did you want to ask me something earlier?” Leeta sat down in the chair across from Ezri without asking. “I noticed you looking at me.”

Ezri could feel her cheeks turning bright red but tried to ignore it. “Oh, no, uhhh,” she paused, pursing her lips, “I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“Excuse me?”

Leeta smiled kindly. “What were you thinking about?”

“Oh, uhm,” Ezri almost wished she’d start coughing again so Leeta would stop asking questions. “I don’t remember.” She shrugged weakly.

Leeta cocked her head thoughtfully.

“Well I mean, I kind of remember, but it’s not important,” Ezri sputtered out quickly. “I was just zoning out. I wasn’t really paying attention… to anything.”

Leeta reached across the table, placing her hand on top of Ezri’s. Her first instinct was to pull away and excuse herself from the entire exchange. But she stayed still, feeling the tension in her stomach twisting into something more definitively pleasant, but not quite.

“You don’t have to be ashamed, Ezri.”

“Of what?”

“I’ve seen that look plenty of times before.” She cocked her eyebrow knowingly.

Ezri’s stomached dropped, and she pulled her hands away, burying her face in her hands.

“No, no, no, really.” Leeta scooted her chair around the table so that she was close enough that their knees pressed together. She reached up and pulled Ezri’s hands down from her face but didn’t keep hold of them once she placed them back on Ezri’s lap.

Ezri shifted her face away from Leeta’s prying eyes, focusing intently on the glass on the table beside her.

“You’ve never felt that way about a girl, have you?”

“Oh, gods.” Ezri tried to hide her face in her hands again, but Leeta caught them and kept them firmly between hers this time.

“No, please, Ezri.” Leeta put her finger gently under Ezri’s chin, tilting her head up so that they were face to face. “You haven’t, have you?”

“No. I mean, yes. Well, no, I mean.…” Ezri fumbled, eyes still looking anywhere but at Leeta’s face, which still hovered inches from hers.

Leeta nodded knowingly. “It must be confusing with so many memories. But they’re not yours, are they?”

“I mean I’ve never,” Ezri paused, “I’d never really thought about it. Well not seriously at least.”

“But your other hosts?”

“Well Curzon was an infamous womanizer. And of course Tobin and Torias were both married to women.” Ezri shrugged her shoulders. 

Leeta nodded, not saying anything, but encouraging Ezri to keep going.

“And I mean, Jadzia’s memories are all so recent and so… strong. She… well, it’s different,” she paused for a moment, fingers twitching between Leeta’s as she tried to make sense of her thoughts and memories. “I remember her being with other women so clearly that it really feels like it was me.”

Ezri paused again, shaking her head. “I mean, with most things I can separate myself from the memories, but these are so….”

“Vivid?”

“Visceral, almost….” Ezri paused again. “I have memories of all Dax’s hosts with women really, but Jadzia’s are… different. They’re very… encompassing.”

“So you’re worried these feelings you have now aren’t really yours?”

“Maybe….” Ezri twister her hands so that they faced upward, grasping Leeta’s directly now. “But maybe not. I just don’t know if I want it because she wanted it. Or if I want it because now I know what it would feel like.”

Leeta nodded, allowing her fingers to twine with Ezri’s.

Ezri continued. “It kinda doesn’t matter where it comes from though, you know? And I think it’s mine… or it’s enough mine anyways.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I know that. It’s just confusing.” Ezri pulled one hand away, running it through her short hair, aimlessly scratching her scalp.

Leeta grabbed Ezri’s hand from her head, bringing it down to her mouth, allowing her breath to ghost across Ezri’s bare skin. “It doesn’t have to be.”

Leeta pressed her lips gently to Ezri’s hand, kissing first the back of her hand before softly pecking at each of her fingers. Ezri could feel her heart beating as if it would break right through her chest, praying that Leeta couldn’t feel it, though she couldn’t imagine how she could miss it.

Leeta flipped her hand around, kissing the palm of her hand before pressing a longer kiss to the inside of her wrist. Ezri could feel her smile forming against her wrist before Leeta raised her head to meet Ezri’s eyes. She reached a hand out to gently trace Ezri’s jawline, still grasping Ezri’s hand firmly with the other. 

“It really can be simple.” Leeta’s smile almost made Ezri inclined to believe her.

“Can it?”

Leeta nodded, hand snaking around to the back of Ezri’s neck, gently pulling her head closer until Ezri could feel Leeta’s warm breath against her lips. Ezri inhaled shakily, trying to quell the lingering anxiety in her stomach as she tilted her head and met Leeta’s lips. 

For a split second when their lips met, Ezri froze, stuck somewhere between excitement and terror until she felt Leeta’s fingers drawing small circles at the base of her skull. Drawing comfort from Leeta’s touch, she relaxed, allowing her mouth to meld to Leeta’s, savoring the sweet taste of the alcohol still on her lips.

Leeta was gentle, allowing Ezri to set the pace. Ezri moved her mouth against Leeta’s, surprised by how at ease she felt now. She kept the kiss gentle and slow, allowing herself to explore this new sensation at a leisurely pace. Once her anxiety had completely settled, Ezri peppered Leeta’s mouth with small, soft kisses, pulling back for a brief moment.

“I guess it can be pretty simple.”

Leeta smiled. “Did you figure out whose feelings they were?”

Ezri smiled back and shook her head. “No, but now I really don’t care.”

With that, she leaned back in to capture Leeta’s lips in a more forceful kiss. Her hands snaked across her thighs until they settled onto Leeta’s exposed skin. She could feel a smile as she ran her tongue across Leeta’s lips, seeking permission. Leeta granted it, and Ezri deepened the kiss as Leeta’s fingers wound their way through her hair. 

Ezri really wasn’t any more certain where her initial feelings had come from, but with Leeta’s taste and smell enveloping her senses, she couldn’t deny that her reaction now was hers and hers alone. She also couldn’t deny that the heat spreading lower and lower in her body was hers as well. She tried to ignore the ache growing between her thighs, but as Leeta took control of the kiss that grew harder and harder.

Leeta’s tongue plunged into Ezri’s mouth, her hands leaving her hair to wind their way down Ezri’s body playfully. Her fingertips glanced just barely along the sides of Ezri’s breasts and circled briefly at her hips. Ezri couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips as Leeta’s fingers slid down her thighs. She gasped, pulling back in embarrassment once she realized what had happened.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I….” She pressed her fingertips to her mouth.

Leeta pulled her hand away, “What are you apologizing for?” 

Ezri looked up. “I… that was inappropriate.”

“Ezri….”

“No, that was… I can’t presume… you were just….” Ezri paused to gather her thoughts. “You were just being nice, and I took it somewhere else.”

Leeta laughed, and Ezri couldn’t help but look up, a little offended. “Ezri, oh dear. You don’t need to be so uncertain. I was being completely serious.”

Ezri furrowed her eyebrows. “Then why are you laughing?”

Leeta sobered. “I’m sorry. I just thought it was obvious.”

“Well apparently it wasn’t.” Ezri crossed her arms in front of her, pouting her lips.

Leeta leaned in, pressing the briefest kiss to her lips. “I don’t kiss people just to be nice, Ezri.”

Ezri looked doubtful, but released her arms, allowing Leeta to grab her hands again.

“Don’t apologize for your reactions. In fact…” Leeta leaned forward until her lips were pressed to Ezri’s ear, “If you’ll let me, I wouldn’t mind getting a few more reactions out of you.”

Ezri blushed bright red, mouth hanging open. Leeta took the initiative again and pressed a kiss to Ezri’s open mouth. This time she lingered long enough for Ezri to briefly respond.

When she pulled back, Ezri’s frown had completely disappeared. She still looked a little dumbfounded, but Leeta smiled broadly at her, running her thumb along her bottom lip.

“So, what do you say?”

“Are you serious?” Ezri swallowed nervously, twiddling her hands in her lap.

“I am if you want me to be.”

Ezri took a moment to think, staring at her fingers as she picked at her nails. Finally, she looked up, her mouth set in a hard, resolute line. “Yeah, I think I want that.”

Leeta smiled, standing and holding a hand out to help Ezri stand. Ezri took the hand, rising to her feet as Leeta tightened her grip, refusing to let it go. 

She paused once more before continuing. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Ezri nodded immediately this time. “Yes.”

Ezri squeezed Leeta’s hand, feeling as her stomach twisted into another knot. However, this time it was excitement and not anxiety curling itself around her insides. She pulled Leeta’s hand up to her mouth, kissing the top of it as Leeta smiled and led them swiftly away from the bar.


End file.
